Sleepless night number two. I do not suffer with insomnia but I am scared of falling asleep. I’m scared of falling asleep during the night. Tomorrow you might find me dozing all day. During the night it’s quiet and dark, there is a huge never-ending space which is created when the world retires to bed. A space which I can’t see but most certainly feel with all of my body. Its a void, a huge hollow where you can scream all you want but you can’t shout. The screeching sound which comes from inside my core radiates all into this space, but it is very soon swallowed by the hollowness in the space. This hollowness is closing in on me as the night progresses. Its very difficult to stop and if I fall asleep it will swallow me as well. That is why I don’t want to sleep during the nights because if I sleep there is nobody else here who will stop the darkness from swallowing me when I am asleep. There is nobody lying next to me on my bed. This is loneliness and it is scary when you have to fight the darkness of this huge space all alone. People who say they care about me are also sleeping peacefully, apparently they don’t have any battles to fight when they lie down at night. They can care as much as they know, as much as they understand. If I gasp for breath in my sleep, I have nothing to hold on to. If I sleep like this, I’m sure I’ll be trapped forever.